Wednesday, May 23, 2012

My Top 10 Least Favorite Pokémon

While many Pokémon are imprinted fondly in my memory, many are also just as memorable for how terrible they are. For that reason, and for the fun of making fun of some seriously dumb looking critters, I present my Top 10 Least Favorite Pokémon of all time list.

#10 Giratina  

By now, I honestly think Game Freak must be running out of ideas for Legendary Pokémon. When you start mashing together different body parts hoping for it to look cool in the end, you know that you’re short on inspiration. Giratina’s hodgepodge design is overblown and ugly. It’s trying so hard to look awesome that the end result is just plain silly.

#9 Amoongus  

This thing just looks really stupid. I guess using Poké Ball camouflage is kind of clever, but that face is just too much. The last thing I want battling by my side is a Pokémon who is constantly pouting.

#8 Garbodor

While Pokemon have never been limited to only animal-esque forms, a pile of garbage is taking things a tad too far in my book. Garbodor doesn’t even manage to look like a pile garbage! More like a mass of grey cotton candy with jellybeans mixed in. If Cookie Monster and Oscar the Grouch ever had a kid... somehow, I'd imagine the resulting monstrosity wouldn't be unlike Garbodor.


#7 Probopass 

How do you create a sillier evolved form for a Pokémon as ridiculous looking as Nosepass? Apparently by removing its legs, enlarging the thing's dumb nose to be twice as big, and plopping a compass on its head for the heck of it. That or just make it look like Mr. Potato Head.

#6 Jynx 

Many people dislike Jynx because its design is obviously based off an outdated racial stereotype. However, I don’t find this fact nearly as offensive as its (her?) overall design. The thing looks like a cross-dressing Mr. Popo for goodness sakes! Also, is that dress supposed to be a part of its body or something?

By the way, the above image of Jynx is the censored version that has appeared in the newer Pokémon games. This is the original design:

No further comment is necessary.

#5 Scrafty    

Seriously Game Freak? I mean seriously? A “Hoodlum Pokémon” with a Mohawk and skin on its lower torso meant to look like it’s wearing baggy pants? And to top it off, the thing looks completely stoned! A design this offensively bad isn’t higher on the list simply because it’s at least stupid enough for a good laugh.

#4 Volbeat and Illumise

These two are grouped together because they’re pretty much identical and I dislike them both for the same reason. Their designs are simply unappealing. I can’t really put my finger on why, but maybe it’s because their designs are overly flamboyant without any substantial character to balance this off.

#3 Meganium  

Meganium is by far the ugliest final evolution for a starter Pokémon ever! Its color is the ugliest shade of green imaginable mixed with the ugliest pink flower imaginable. The design also loses the cool head-mounted leaf blade that made its pre-evolved forms so distinct, replacing them with… whatever those things on its dumb head are.

#2 Golurk  

Even if your Pokémon’s design isn’t good, it should at the very least look like one of the darn things. This thing doesn’t look like a Pokémon. Not even remotely. It looks like an enemy design from a Tales game and not even a good one. Just because you’re running out ideas doesn’t mean you should steal concept art from other JRPGs, Game Freak.

#1 Lickilicky

Why does Game Freak keep giving dumb-looking evolutions to Pokémon that don't need them? Lickitung was one of the weirder original 150 Pokémon whose only real claim to fame was having Team Rocket accidently trade it for Wobbufet. Not exactly a thrilling track record, so why give it an evolution after all this time? More importantly, why make it look so cringeworthingly bad? Lickilicky's conception is awful, its implementation is awful, and heck, even its name is awful. Everything about it is awful.

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